Juicing the Sun and shooting sheep...

Sometimes you just need to try something new to get off your sorry sad little behind. At least that was my solution a few days ago.

Jesse and I went to visit friends and family over the holidays in Knoxville, TN. We had a great time spending afternoons in coffee shops and meals with friends. It hit me on a lay-over in Denver, that bleak sadness that only comes when you've left something precious behind.

Here in Fernie, I have struggled to make connections with people for various reasons. Back in Knoxville, I was reminded of just how many people I shared deep relationship with. There are a handful of fabulous women that I have shared so much with and learned to love deeply through the trials and joys of this life. I've spent the night in a hospital with Sara when her crohn's tried to suck the life out of her. I'll never forget her white face as she read the card I got for her before passing through the double doors to surgery (It was a singing card that blared, "I will survive!") She cried and laughed, as her frail hands shook with fear. I've weathered breakups with Chica, late night calls that only chocolate and wine can remedy when the man you wanted to spend your life with just couldn't commit. Rose and I got through our initial dislike of each other and ended up bosom friends. Kristen and I bonded over doing hair and makeup for a mutual friend's wedding. We've danced down Gay Street in downtown Knoxville listening to Justin Bieber (yeah we like the biebs) and "Firework" by Katy Perry. It was good to be in the company of people who know you through and through and love you just the way you are (fuck-ups and all). But that kind of connection and history takes just that: connection and history. History is just a pretty word for blood, sweat and tears, and blood, sweat and tears take long nights and early mornings and lots of time. Time is something I currently have an oppressive amount of back in Fernie, while connections and history have been very slow in developing.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, it was in Denver that the sadness hit while eating sandwiches and watching football. "I'm going to need a sad week," I told Jesse between bites with my head down. "O.K. is there anything I can do?" my husband replied through compassionate eyes. "No. Just let me be sad for one week and don't let it get you down. Cause when you get sad because of me it makes me feel ten times worse." "O.K." he agreed. So halfway through my "sad week" I was feeling pretty... you know... sad, and I just couldn't motivate myself to do anything (which is really frustrating). "Just do something Emily! Please!" I begged myself. "Like what?" replied my unenthusiastic resigned self from under the covers where I was lying. "I don't know... how about Juicing?!?" It was random for sure, but just enticing enough for my nutrition guru to take the bate. Jesse had a juicer that I had never tried since I'd moved in six months ago. Today was the day to juice!!! I busied myself researching recipes and vegetable combinations that hopefully wouldn't taste like barf even if their color resembled rejected food and stomach acid. I ran to the store to purchase the fruits and veges I would need!

 I brought my camera with me to document the experience (plus if you want to be a photographer you should just carry your camera around with you everywhere you go! at least that's what I'm telling myself!) As I snapped pictures of brussel sprouts and zucchinis, a gruff sales lady came up to me. "Can I help you?" she snipped, as if she was a celebrity and I was the paparazzi that had been following her for days. "Uh.. no." I replied with an expression resembling cardboard. "I'm just not used to seeing people taking pictures of the produce..." She pressed. Well then you've obviously never met the next great photographer of the freakin' decade lady! "Well, I'm Juicing today and I'm documenting my experience so I can blog about it..." I replied (cardboard). "We just have to ask." (who's we?) She walked away and I moved on to broccoli. Back at home I began to prepare a mostly raw dinner (Salad with egg, a whole wheat french bouquet, yogurt with fresh fruit for dessert and of course vegetable juice!) Jesse was relatively supportive of our nutritious dinner after asking several times (playfully... I think), 'where the meat was?'

On Sunday afternoon, the first day after my sad week, Jesse and I went for a drive to Cranbrook (a sunny town about an hour away.) We took our cameras with us, and happened upon several picture-worthy images! Our first subject was the landscape right before the tunnel. The area is fondly known as the "rock cuts" where the road meanders through slabs of mountain with breathtaking views and scary drop offs. We pulled off the road to capture the mountains against the rare blue sky. We got back into our trusty Buick and started the twisty-turny way through the rock cuts. "Oh there were some sheep back there." Jesse said while I fumbled with the music. "What?!" "Do you want to turn around?" He asked just as we passed two handsome bighorns. "Yes!" We made a U-turn in the middle of the mountain road and pulled off to the side as best we could. The sheep didn't seem particularly fussed by our presence and continued eating indifferently. We were able to get quite close before they got bored of us and moved on. It was amazing!

A few hundred pictures later,
we hit the road again.

The sun shone bright and warm and we stopped more than once to experiment with F-stops and shutter speeds. As Jesse drove I focused my lens on the car mirror and Jesse's face against the sun. It was a perfect day to start my not-sad week after a tumultuous seven days fighting melt-downs and loosing. Sunday was full of promise and hope. We ended the evening by seeing "Silver Lining Playbook" with some new friends. The movie was about a man who (after being diagnosed with bi-polar) is trying to get his life back under control and his interactions with an eccentric and depressed widower. They both are looking for the silver lining after some hefty life blows. It was a good reminder for me- not to take myself or life too seriously. Instead of dwelling on black-hole questions (what the fuck am I doing with my life? as I sit on the couch and cry while feeling sorry for myself), I need to just do something! Like Juicing and taking pictures with my husband on a beautiful sunny day. Maybe that's how to steer clear of the storms when they burden you with sadness- look for the silver lining when the sun doesn't appear to be shining. But when that blasted ball of fire does appear, get outside and take some pictures of those bright glorious moments.